Anger. We all experience it at different times in our lives. Anger is a normal response to various situations. It’s okay to be angry. It’s what we do with that anger, our response that is important. It’s allowing that anger to control us that makes a difference in hurting the people around us and ourselves or growing from the experience and letting it make us a better person in the end. Each person has the power and self-control within them to respond in a mature way. You do not need to let anger get the best of you.

Here are some ways to respond to anger the next time you are in a situation.

• Step away from the situation. If you need a moment to cool off, do it. Do not just respond without taking a moment to think before you react. Just walk away and take a few moments to recover. There is nothing worse that reacting and you cannot take back what you may be about to do. It’s not worth hurting those around you or yourself.

• Take time to think about the situation. Sometimes we can take something the wrong way initially. Pause. Think about what happened. Think about your stance and clarify your position in what just took place.

• Do not put the other person down. Words hurt and they are very hard to forget. Do not say anything that will belittle the other person. Stay away from blaming, name calling, swearing, violence, manipulation, sulking, aggression and sarcasm. Remember that old saying? “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me?” It’s not true. A lot of times it’s easier to recover from breaking bones than hurtful words.

• Tell the person how they made you feel. Be honest. Talk calmly about the situation. Whether they did something intentionally or not, working through your anger with communication is key. It will help you to heal instead fulfilling your momentary wish of lashing out and hurting back.

• Realize that each person is responsible for their own actions. Everyone has a responsibility in the situation. It’s not just one person’s fault. If each person were to take responsibility for their part in the situation, you will both be able to move forward much faster. Be the mature one and be the first to take responsibility if necessary.

• Do not speak on behalf of the other person. No one knows how someone else is thinking or feeling so do not take the opportunity to take a guess.

• Be patient with yourself. If you are one that tends to get angry and react immediately there is good news for you. You can change with a decision and discipline, however, be patient with yourself. Sometimes changes happen fast, other times they can take a while. Just keep taking steps forward. It’s the little decisions and the small steps that add up to great change.

• Know your triggers and prepare yourself to manage your reactions. If you are finding yourself repeatedly reacting to the same situations with uncontrollable anger, maybe it’s time to work with a professional counsellor or hypnotherapist to address both the underlying triggers and your overreaction.

Choices

Anger is a normal, universal emotion. But when it is out of control and impacting your life, it is time to seek professional help. Contact me today to discuss how I can best help you have more choices in coping with your anger.

Anger Management Counselling in Victoria, BC